Some Jokes...

When I'm stuck inside the house because it's raining or like today it's too hot to go out, I write jokes. About anything and everything.

Long ago, in the year of 2018, early spring when we didn't know if it was going to rain, snow or shine, I wrote some jokes on current affairs. Like the ones I'm now writing for The News Dump but shorter. Here are a few.

The news item was:

https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2018/10/vanessa-trump-terrified-when-she-received-suspicious-package-white-powder

My take

Vanessa Trump was taken to the hospital as a precaution after she received an envelope with white powder. President Trump assured the White House press corps that it was just Trump brand sugar and it had nothing to do with his hatred for his daughter-in-law.

The news item was the surprise snow in March.

My take

Teachers vs students engage in a snowball battle causing Ofsted to create urgent snowball fight evaluation forms for such situations.

The news item was about how uneaten school dinners can be used. 

My take

Uneaten school dinners were given to the homeless who refused to accept unhealthy and unappetising food.

Do you like facts? Here are two sets of facts - all real, yet I couldn't hide my sarcasm.

50: Age of the last Bond Actor Daniel Craig

56: Number of years a black actor was never cast as Bond. 

(This still holds because the new casting has only given 007 to a Black woman. Bond is going white, middle-class middle-aged man on a beach somewhere Brits used to colonize.)

5.7 number of millions Harry Styles apartments cost.

237 number of earthquakes in West Hollywood where his mansion is. No wonder he couldn't sell it. No one buys rubble anymore.